This week, 'Therapy Begins with Tea' steeps on the purpose of hobbies and offers a body based check-in to reconnect with your inner child .
Therapy Begins with Tea is a weekly newsletter based on the themes that come up in my sessions as a therapist who specializes in imposter syndrome, attachment styles in romantic relationships, and our psychological relationships with money. Each week consists of a 'steep' in thought reflection, an accompanying body based check-in, and tea card intentions for the week to come.
'Steep' in Thought (3-5 min)
'So, do you have a hobby?'
So, do you have a hobby? When I ask this to clients, I'm usually met with a pause or a laugh as they struggle to come up with an answer. But when I change the question to 'what did you like to do as a kid?', interests & activities that they enjoy even now easily come to mind. We often source our hobbies from what we enjoyed as children and this is important for two reasons. One, it demonstrates how integral a connection with our inner child is in order to access fulfilling adult play (aka hobbies), but, two, it also demonstrates how little we value that time with ourselves as we grow older.
Hobbies Aren't Meant to Be Productive
In contrast, how often do you hear the question, 'what do you do for work?' when meeting someone new? We talk about our roles -- with our family, with friends, with work (again), with significant others, but rarely do we talk about (or get asked or even explore) our hobbies.
And that's because they aren't seen as productive. In a world where we are raised to ‘be good for others’ and we're taught that our worth comes from how much we contribute, how needed we are, & what use we have, hobbies are precious because they are for us. They are relational & mindful & not at all based on production. They are for our enjoyment and fulfillment alone. I think we could all use a little more of that in our lives, so let’s give hobbies the importance & attention they (you) deserve.
Hobbies are an act of self-care too (& the ultimate act of resistance to capitalism!)
Full Body Check-In (2-4 min)
Take a few cycles of breath, inhaling up through your nose & exhaling out through pursed lips. Feel the air swirl around inside of you as you breathe in; note the loosening of your body as you let that breath go.
When you’re ready, imagine child You playing. Use the 5 senses to help the image form (what do you see, what do you hear, etc.). Let the picture in your mind crystalize.
What is child You doing? Are You alone? Are You with others? What emotions do you feel watching child You? Do you remember what it feels like to play the way child You is playing right now? Do you miss it?
As you start to tune back in to your breath and let the image fade, what do you feel? Can you make an intention to pursue a hobby this week that gets you back in touch with that feeling?
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